So, four more sleeps until we wake up … have our breakfast and head off to Olivedale to welcome our son into the world. Our last Sunday afternoon as newly-weds and the first Monday as parents! It’s all just so much to take in!
Dave pointed something out to me, as we headed up the escalator to watch a movie at The Zone in Rosebank this past Monday at around 14h15, when I blurted out, “Babe! This time next week you will probably be holding our son in your arms!”, causing him to sway a little with anxiety. He reminded me how calmly and thus successfully we have approached all major events in our life together and it has always worked out best that way. So in the normal fashion of the Dadic’s, this week has been like every other … except for the fact that I am not at work and am therefore able to do SO much more!
We’ve managed to sell my little Mini, buy a new “mommy-mobile”, finally buy a nursing chair and foot stool for Luca’s room, wake up at stupid o’clock to watch the American Idol finale (Dave and I are both fans of the underdog, Kris Allen, especially after his rendition of Kanye West’s “Heartless”) and index and paginate huge bundles of documents for a trial Dave has coming up … amongst other things!
And now it’s Thursday night. THURSDAY NIGHT! I haven’t been able to sleep for the last couple of weeks as is, and now with just 4 “sleeps” to go I am trying my best to take everyone’s advice and chill. I say “sleeps” because they’re more like action packed clusters of hours in which I find myself tossing and turning, hopping out of bed to go to the loo numerous times a night, turning pillows over to get the cooler side as I seem to have an internal toaster burning away in my belly and continuously rearranging my 47 pillows in the quest to find THE perfect “sleep” position. Sleep … all I know is that at the antenatal class, Sister Jacky advised that the best position for sleep after a c-section is either on your back or on your stomach. HEAVEN! If I never sleep on my sides again, it will be too soon. Seriously … when you have this massive extra weight pulling your body forward all night you start to fantasize about the days when you could sleep like a vampire, flat on your back, staring up at the ceiling. Now it’s left side or right side. And all the pregnancy books and websites tell you that sleeping on your left side is the best because, for one reason or the other, it increases blood flow to your organs as well as to the baby. So, you find yourself constantly rolling over onto your left side and then waking up with a dead left arm, ear, cheek etc. And the crazy pinched nerves in your butt … ah, but it’s all been SO worth it! SOOOO worth it!
I’ve also, in this final week, developed fully fledged porridge brain. This afternoon after taking delivery of the nursing chair and foot stool and having Dan The Handyman put up the shelf, I was chatting to my sister on Facebook and she asked me to take some pictures of the nursery so she could see the final results. I agreed and went into the nursery with the camera with the intention of taking one or two pictures and popping them onto Facebook. A half hour later, after repacking the top two drawers of the compactum, moving the chair and foot stool from one side of the cot to the other and rearranging the items on the shelf a couple of times, I walked back into the lounge and sat down. I hadn’t taken any pictures. I saw that I had the camera cable plugged into the laptop and thought, “Now why did I plug that in?” … only when I walked back into the nursery ten minutes later (I go in at least 20 times every hour or so to admire it all) and saw the camera on the footstool did I remember what my original mission was! All you can do is laugh. Laugh at how deranged your mind has become and how much you love it all, without even knowing what’s to come … what to expect.
People have been asking me if I am nervous … I don’t feel nervous at all at the moment. I’m quite sure that on Monday morning, when we are on route to Olivedale Hospital, that I will start to panic and wonder what the hell it is that I am doing. But for now I am fine and besides, there is always Rescue Remedy to calm me down then 🙂 I don’t really see the point in being nervous now anyway. It’s like if you were going skydiving and you were SUPER nervous in the plane. You paid to do it but no one’s forcing you to do it. You can change your mind and sit in the plane as the last diver hops out and then you land. Being nervous now, at 38 weeks pregnant and with 4 “sleeps” to go is really just a waste of emotion and energy … it’s GOING to happen! No matter what! You can’t ask for a refund, you can’t change your mind. It’s all reality and there’s no going back! I am more desperate at this stage. Desperate to see what he will look like. I am almost 100% sure that he has the exact nose that I was born with. My Gran always said that she thought that if I sneezed I would blow my hat off … I had the tiniest button of a nose and all you saw were two nostrils. That’s the one thing that I can make out in the 2D scans of late. The rest is just a squished up bundle of arms, legs and umbilical cord …
… a squished up bundle that I am just aching to meet and to hold and to love.