A Little Bit Wishy Washy

That’s apparently what my Facebook/Twitter updates have been of late! Well, here it is in black and white …

It’s no secret that I have been very emotional about having Baby #2. I have been off the pill for a while and was hoping for something to happen. YES I know how it all works, just leaving out the gory details 😉 Anyhow, I have been struggling with a few things … working half day has been FANTASTIC. I have spent the better part of an entire year with my Monkey – something which many moms are not able to do. Yes, I am blessed. I have dedicated every spare moment to him and I feel like I have done a really good job of being a mum so far. But the one thing a half day job is NOT good for, is the pocket. I literally earn enough money to pay for my car, medical aid and my two credit card installments. Not a dime to spare after the debit orders have gone off at the end of the month. Which was fine before. But now it’s not. I have started (yes, a whole YEAR later) to realise that there is life out there! I went out and had a GREAT time for my birthday two weeks ago. I have finally started to get over that feeling of guilt when I leave my Monkey during the day to go to work and, on the odd occasion,
at night when Dave and I go out to a movie or dinner. I feel like I might have some semblance of a life again! And I like it. And what goes hand in hand with having a social life? Um, money. Now, while Dave has told me on more than one occasion that he has no problem handing over a couple of bucks here and there (picture Al Bundy dishing out the dough in the opening scenes of “Married With Children”) when I need it, I just don’t think it’s fair. I do think that it’s fair that I spent the first year of our son’s life as a semi-stay-at-home-mom, but I don’t think it’s fair for it to carry on. Not for Dave o r for me. Plus I feel like I have lost a little bit of my independence by having to rely 100% on my (amazing) husband and, believe me, I am one independent little lady 🙂

SoOoOoOo … the short story is that I am going back on the pill and back on the job hunt. And I feel really, REALLY good about it 😀 I have had one or two interviews and they seem to have gone well. Want to get something close to home so that traffic doesn’t become a problem. Monkey is in really good hands during the day with Beauty (Gogo) and Dave works 5 roads from home. So it will be good. For all of us!

Also, talk about the Universe having it’s own plans: 5 minutes after I told Dave my plan last night, our tenant called to ask if she could renew her lease at our home in Northriding. BEST NEWS SO FAR! We have been dealing with PROPER half-wit estate agents, Fine & Country Randburg, who have basically lead us down the garden path for the past 6 months. We were *this* close to having NO tenant and not so much as an offer on our house, which could have been ever so slightly stressful, what with paying rent on our house here, PLUS the bond installments on our Northriding house. Needless to say, when the tenant called with her news (moments after I had made my *decision*), I burst into tears. Yes Universe – I HEAR YOU!

And in other news – I survived being away from my Monkey for TWO WHOLE NIGHTS! Not only did I survive, in fact, I  had an AMAZING time! Just me, Dave, our own private game ranger, butler and chef, a heard of elephants and the bush. It was divine. I didn’t change ONE nappy in almost 3 days. I won’t lie – it was awesome. And the best part was coming home and hearing him squeal in delight at the sight of his mom & dad. Love. Love. Love.

On the down side to all of this: I haven’t told my boss that I am interviewing for a new job. It is going to be VERY hard to leave them. Both he and his wife have been SO good to me. SO good. If anyone is looking for a half-day admin position in Westcliff, loves passionate Italians, strong coffee and Rhodesian Ridgebacks, let me know. Perhaps if I had a replacement for them, saying goodbye wouldn’t be so hard …but that’s life I guess?

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8 thoughts on “A Little Bit Wishy Washy

  1. You are doing the right thing my friend and I am holding thumbs that the right thing comes along SOON!!!

    Keep smiling!
    x x x x

  2. Remember the old saying “be careful what you wish for you MAY just get it” heheee….. Good luck hun.

  3. Hey Nix,
    Follow your heart my friend, it sounds great, get out there and enjoy it.
    Don’t worry about baby no.2…. it will happen when the time is right, but for now, claim back your independense and enjoy it! We must go for drinks soon 🙂

    xxx

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