As you may or may not know, I will soon be Werksmans Attorneys‘ newest Marketing Assistant. I am excited beyond words to be going back into the corporate working world, being around people (not Rhodesian Ridgebacks) all day long and actually using my brain.
I can’t wait to be independent. Financially, that is. My husband has been incredibly supportive of my decision to stop working to be at home with our boy and to subsequently take a half day job that paid enough to literally covered my car, medical aid and credit card bills. Not once did he complain about me asking for money for stuff: be it for me, Luca or anything else really. But I am a fiercely independent girl and there is nothing more soul-destroying, in my opinion, than having to ask for money. I have worked since I was 17 and have always been completely self-reliant. My issues started whilst planning our wedding – I managed to rack up an insanely huge debt, spread over FOUR credit cards. OUCH. While we were on honeymoon in Mauritius I switched on my cellphone and a flood of text messages poured in, “Please pay your minimum due on your FNB/Kulula/Blue Bean/ABSA Credit Card ASAP” Again, OUCH. Anyway … the point is that there and then, I decided that enough was enough. I chopped up all four of those evil little plastic cards and began the grind of paying them all off. Essentially, every cent I earned went straight to paying off all my debt. In the mean time … said amazing husband paid off TWO of those bad boys. Which means I only have two left, which have both been squished pretty substantially. Anyway, the point is that when I start working again soon … I WILL HAVE MONEY! For the first time in AGES. I know they say that money can’t buy you happiness, but it sure as hell will make things a lot easier for me and my little family. I can’t wait to feel like I am worth something, something more than JUST a wife and mum. You know?
I am also looking forward to looking great on a daily basis. Thanks to the really tough but really effective diet I went on early this year, I feel great in slim fitting clothes … FINALLY! I bought a gorgeous tailored blue suit, a sexy-but-smart black pencil skirt and have pulled out my classic black Jenni Button pants suit, which I am sure is happy to be out of the suit-bag at the back of my cupboard and is ready to make her stylish come-back! The only thing I am unsure of is my footwear. I haven’t worn heels (apart from the odd night out here and there) since I was about 5 months pregnant. I have disposed of most of them in fact, save for a few favourites that I pushed to the very back of the highest shelf in my cupboard! I may need to do a few practice walks in them before I strut into Werksmans and fall flat on my face when my toes hit the shiny tiles …
But … all great things have a downside, yes?
The only and the most obvious downside is the huge decrease in time spent with my gorgeous little Monkey who, by the way, is getting seriously cuter and cuter and developing his wicked little personality by the day. He has started to want to be with me … you know, mommy-vas? As frustrating as it can be at times (try blow-drying your hair holding a 12kg, wriggling monster) I love it. I love that he cuddles me and shrieks with glee when he sees me walk in the door. I guess what I am going to have to do is make sure that I soak him all up when I am with him. Devote as much of my free time as I can, while still spending QT with the man who has made the past few years possible, to being the best mum possible to my little Luca.
As nervous as I am, I know it’s possible. Luca’s Godmother, Chantelle, is a perfect example and my role model mom. As are Roz, Lindy, Leanne, Mandy, Kerri, Amanda, Bellinda, Celeste, Nicole, Leani, Chantel, Chere, Cindy, Claire, Deborah, Jo’lene, Lizanne, Mignon, Vanessa … the list of moms who have been back at (or are about to go back to) work since their little ones were tiny is endless. I have been lucky to have spent the last year “at home” with Monkey and for that, I am eternally grateful. But the women I have listed above (and all the others I may have forgotten) are an inspiration to me and I know that if I feel down … they’ll be there for me.
Plus, my mum worked. Boy oh boy, did she work! She loved her work! She worked long hours but still managed to be a fantastic mum to my sister and I and I never felt that I loved her any less because she worked so hard. In fact, in hindsight, I appreciate it. She worked hard so that we could have what we needed. And that is what I want to be able to do for my gorgeous little boy.
“It’s not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” – The Golden Girls